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5 Ways to Be Really Popular with the Reformed Crowd
In each case, if you have to, at least pretend. I mean, it’s not like you need to be honest, or biblical or anything. Right?
1. Embrace, love and/or promote ‘holy hip-hop’ music. Neglect this one, and you’re history. You may as well be Methodist in West Virginia. It’s the rage in promoting the doctrines of grace, even more so than the expositional preaching of Scripture.
2. In social media, follow only those who the most popular reformed guys are hanging with and following. If you don’t, there’s no way you can RT and propagate the most recent, unbelievably profound truths, as well as keep up with approved events and podcasts, etc.
3. Agree with everything those guys in number 2 are saying, even if you disagree. If you don’t, they’ll get suspicious that your not playing the game, going with the flow, etc., and you’ll fade from the scene like putrid water from an old crop-dusting fuel barrel.
4. If you think any popular reformed guy is unbiblical in any way, don’t say a word. That will only get you blacklisted from ‘the club’. You don’t want that…unless, of course, being in this club is irrelevant and is insulting to your Christian character in the first place. Hey, it could happen.
5. Support and promote anything and everything – publically – labeled ‘reformed’ or ‘Calvinist’ – even if it’s heresy.
I’ll probably add to this later, but for now, this is a pretty good foundation. If you seek to be popular in the Reformed crowd these days, then good luck my friend, in pimping yourself, selling out the truth in exchange for whatever form of covetousness you desire.
I would say ‘God be with you’ but if you can relate to the above, then, may God have mercy.
Related articles
- 5 Features of New Calvinism (5ptsalt.com)
- Q&A: Is It Possible to Teach the Cross and Sovereign Grace Without Being A Calvinist? (5ptsalt.com)
- John MacArthur: “Reclaiming the culture is a ridiculous concept.” (5ptsalt.com)
- A Retraction (5ptsalt.com)
5 Pt. Salt 
I can’t stand hip hop, so I’ve never heard “holy” hip hop. I thank my Lord I belong to a church where we only sing Psalmody a capella.
I’ve always loved singing Acapulco. 🙂
Not to take anything away from the import of your post, but I remember 35 to almost 40 years ago having difficulty finding anyone genuinely reformed, and hip hop was mercifully way in the future and not yet a virus eating the ears and souls of the foolish. In those ancient days, I would have embraced almost any reformed fellow, even if he liked the Archies, Perry Como or Iron Butterfly. InAGaddaDaVida, baby.
Ok, I understand that bro, I totally understand. But you’re still draining my import. 🙂 I’m just kidding.
I agree with you, Texas. I’m no hip-hop fan, but I’ll at least try to get beyond the distraction if the words are sound, and they’re not being featured during Sunday worship service.
That being said, don’t forget that popularity in the reformed crowd is also contigent on being able to spell “Arminian” properly, with extra points if you actually have a relative of Armenian descent.:)
I would not want to be a one armed Arminian Armenian in the Army.
A littler finer point on the paintbrush is in order, my brothers.
I am one of those reformed guys, but I don’t do any of those things. I’m not even on facebook/twitter/google+ or any other social site. I don’t even have my own blog, so I guess I’m “keeping it real” even better than you, Joel. 😉
Then again, to your point, I’m not popular in any circles, reformed or otherwise, so maybe you’re right.