(I don’t know who wrote this, but sadly, I’ve been there and done that!)
“Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests itself:
I decide to wash my car. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.
But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye–they need to be watered. I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.
I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day: the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren’t watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail….”
That’s nothing. Wait till you get to my stage, A.A.A.A.D.D. – Advanced Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. Hmmm..I was going to say more about that, but I can’t quite remember….
My youngest daughter thinks I’m ancient because she’s 17, 7.5 years younger than her next older sibling, and has a 30-something brother whose exact age eludes me at the moment without a real calculation (AAADD?)….
but down here in Alabama, the AADD starts a lot earlier. Because of the “conveniences” of texting, trending, tweeting, etc., 140 characters is about the normal attention span… and just about their theological depth. The young’ns do have a sense of humor about it though. They call what they have ADOS… “Attention Deficit… oooh shiney….”
Lord help us all.
Thanks for posting this, Joel.
Hmmm , it ‘s all sounding very familiar, but it could be worse, much worse, you might have thrown the bills in the garbage[good] , left the remote in the car [bad] and topped up the vase with coke [ugly].