Humor: A Methodist Cup of Coffee

 cup of coffee
I have a pleasant story which I will tell in rhyme
About a circuit rider, who lived in recent time.
He was a circuit preacher of John Wesley’s band.
And rode the finest circuit in all this sinful land.
At one of his fine charges, some members, not a few,
Became quite sorely troubled about the word, INTO.

The Bible says so plainly in Acts, chapter eight,
They went down, INTO the water, just as Baptist’ state.
The parson preached a sermon of extra zeal and might,
And to his satisfaction, he set the passage right:
INTO does not mean INTO but, AT, CLOSE TO, NEARBY.
They went down to the water and got a small supply.

Near the place of worship, there lived a sister Brown
And for her splendid cooking, she’d gained a great renown.
Her yellow legged chickens, her luscious cakes and pies,
Oft’ made that circuit rider roll his weeping eyes.
And her delicious coffee, in all the circuit round,

The preacher oft’ admitted, its like could not be found.
So when he preached a sermon of extra power and length,
He loved at Bro. Brown’s good table to there renew his strength.
But sister Brown was a Baptist, the strongest in the land,
And oft’ reproved the Methodist for changing God’s command.

She heard Bro. Jones’ sermon and thought the matter o’er
And asked him home to dinner, as she often done before.
She ground the Java coffee, with the kettle steaming hot
She put it AT, CLOSE TO, NEARBY, the famous coffee pot.

She poured Bro. Jones a cupful–I think it was no sin.
“Why, Sister, you forgot to put the coffee in.”

“Oh no, Bro. Jones, that’s coffee, I ground a good supply
And put it AT the kettle, CLOSE TO, NEARBY.
But by the logic of your sermon– I thought it rather thin,
If AT or NEARBY means INTO I put the coffee in.

But if you will faithfully promise, no more such error to teach,
Nor dodge God’s plain commandments when you attempt to preach,
I’ll go and make some coffee, just to the Bible dot,
And I will put the coffee, not AT, but INTO the pot.

– unknown (to me!)